The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
So, I paint my nails pretty regularly these days. I also work as a barista/cashier pretty regularly these days. A few weeks back, I had a customer come in, a fairly typical, sheltered, suburban soccer mom, and she ordered a latte from me. She saw my brightly colored nails and said, “Wow, you’re so brave! My son asked me about painting his nails, and if it’s okay for boys to do that. Now I’ll tell him there’s a cool guy who does it too!” It was a nice moment, very cute.
Then, last week, she came in again, and said, “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here! I want you to meet someone!” She then brings her son forward, and says, “Okay sweetie, show him what you did!” And he throws his hands up, showing off his bright, sparkling blue nails. He shows them off, and I show mine off to him. He smiles. We fist bump.
herpes sounds like the name of a greek god
thats because it seriously is 1 letter away
um lol i don’t remember any greek gods named gerpes learn ur history
HERMES YOU ASSHOLE
HERE HE IS WITH HIS DICK AND HIS CROWN AND HIS DAMN CAPE
THEN I’M LIKE:
BUT ACTUALLY I JUST DIED
This should be on every dash. It’s so perfect.
— Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (via creatingaquietmind)
i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die like really fast. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days
the word you’re looking for is diamond
excuse you our porn is of the finest quality